Once again, I can't thank you all enough for your outpouring of love and support.
Jim will be waked at Toon Funeral Home, 4920 Main Street, Downers Grove, IL., from 3:00pm to 9:00pm on Thursday, Feb. 2.
Church service will be Friday, Feb.3, at 11:00am, at Prince Of Peace Lutheran Church, 2600 w. 75th St., Woodridge IL.
There will be a viewing at the church at 10:00am before the service.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Jim passed away around midnight, peacefully, in my arms, with our children near. I will pass on further information later. Thank you all for your prayers and love.

These past two days have been both wonderful and horrible. Sometimes I just can't bear to see him like this, but I must for his sake. There have been so many family members and friends who have come to tell him how much he is loved that the house is fairly bursting with love, and it's a most wonderful thing. I know that he feels us all, and is comforted. To all of you far away, the phone calls and e-mails are no less wonderful. I had forgotten how many lives he has touched. To each and every one of you, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Jim is not quite ready to go yet, although all the "signs" we have been told about are there. Since when did Jim ever do anything by the book!?!?

After a sleepless night I was still not 100 percent certain that bringing Jim home today was the right thing, that we were being too hasty. One look at him this morning convinced me that it was 100 percent right! I KNOW he just hated it there! The nurses at the BMTU bent over backwards to make sure we had whatever supplies they could give us and make the transition smooth. As I have said before, Jim was a popular patient and they all loved him. Dr. Toor is on this weekend; he told us we were doing the right thing, and gave me his home phone number! He is one of the most compassionate doctors I have met.

Once we were home Jim seemed to really relax. I know he knows he is here. I am at peace, knowing this was the absolute right thing for Jim. As I have said before, we are welcoming all who wish to see him. Please let us know if you plan to visit.

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support we have received. Jim is a wonderful man and is well loved! I tell him every chance I get.

Jim continues to sleep deeper and deeper. Yesterday he responded to pain stimulus; today, no response, no movement. His eyes open from time to time, but no focusing. I am still convinced he can hear us, and we have been playing CDs from the bands he has been involved with over the years.

We have talked and talked and talked some more. We know Jim adamantly did not want to have any artificial means of keeping him alive. The doctors keep talking about the probability of putting him on a ventilator...as our granddaughter Kacey says "NO WAY JOSE!" We're sure Dr. Stiff could keep him alive for a long time, but this is NOT life! We have decided to bring Jim home and care for him with the help of Hospice. Our daughter Jori is a RN and will be his 24/7 nurse, along with me, for however long it will be. I pray for the strength we will need. I know Jim will know that he is home, and hope that it will give him peace.

We should be able to have him home this weekend. Like I said, I'm sure that he still hears us, so once he is settled in, whoever would like to see him would be most welcome (call first, please). We want him to know how much he is loved, so that he may go in peace.

I can't tell you all how much all your thoughts and prayers mean to me, Jim, and our family. We are truly blessed.

We had a consult with neurology this morning. It is with a very heavy heart that I must tell you that the doctors told us that some of the infarcts, or "little strokes" are on his brain stem. Their opinion is that a perfectly healthy younger man would have a very slim chance for a meaningful recovery with Jim's situation. Given all his other complications and the fact that his body has been through more than anyone should ever have to endure over the past 2 1/2 years of transplants, his chances are almost nonexistent of any recovery, let alone a meaningful one.

I have had the wonderful support of our children, all of the staff at the BMTU, and so many wonderful friends and family. Jim and I have talked about a situation like this many times, as we have known all along that this was a possibility. With the help of his doctors, my family and I have some tough decisions to make over the next few days. Of course, we will never give up hope for a miracle, but reality smacks us in the face.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I continue to pray that God gives Jim the strength to recover, and if not, to give me the strength to go on.

Yesterday Dr. Stiff tried to do the spinal tap and failed as Jim couldn't be placed in the right position. For now he has decided that any findings would not change the course of treatment, so the tap is out. A doctor from Neurology came and tested Jim's reflexes; we were relieved to see that all his reflexes, though very sluggish, were normal. The MRI just confirmed the CAT scan, though with more clarity, the scattered infarcts in Jim's brain. It is impossible to tell what kind of effect, if any, they will have on his brain until he becomes fully awake. He would not be roused at all, which was very distressing. He is responding very well to the tube feedings, and his vital signs are acceptable.

Today was somewhat better. An EEG and another CAT scan were taken, and we were relieved that there is no swelling of his brain, and no new infarcts, although the previous ones were a bit larger, which is natural progression. His blood pressure was high, so meds were given to lower it. Initially it went too low, but it has leveled off to normal. Meds were also given to stimulate him, and whether they are working, or it was time we don't know, but Jim was more responsive today! He moved his limbs (something he has not done for 2 days) and would sort of grunt (he has not spoken for 3 days). I am convinced that he hears what's going on most of the time and is frustrated that he cannot respond.

Our son, James, and his wife, Rin, flew in from California today, and with all the support Jori, Michael, Jenny, and all of our friends and family have given him. I truly believe he's fighting the best he knows how! We may not know for weeks exactly what the infection is (Stiff is leaning toward a fungus of some sort) it will probably be weeks longer to get rid of the culprit. Jim has a LONG road ahead to recovery, but he has the best team of doctors and family and friends to help him along. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...we couldn't get through this without you all!

Jim continues to sleep deeper and deeper and wake less and less. His central line was removed this afternoon, as it could be a source of the infection. A regular IV line was started then, as he still needs IV access. Tomorrow a PIC line will be placed in his arm for the IVs. All of the blood cultures continue to be negative for infection. It's all so confusing. A feeding tube was inserted through his nose to his stomach so he can receive nutrition. Dr. Stiff wants a spinal tap, as the same fluid in the spine is in the brain, and it could give some answers. Three different doctors tried to do the tap this afternoon but were unsuccessful because they could not position Jim well. Dr. Stiff will try tomorrow, and if he can't get it, Jim will have it done in radiology. He has also developed strange red spots here and there all over his body and one will be biopsied, as it could be connected. I'm really at a loss what to think. It's very serious, and no one seems to have any real answers. I'm hoping that tomorrow I can get some kind of idea what's happening and what can be done. Please continue to pray that Jim has the strength to recover once again!!!!!!

Jim went by ambulance from Edward Hospital to Loyola yesterday afternoon. There is concern that for the past 30 hours he just sleeps and only wakes for a second or two when stimulated. He knows who he is and where he is, but he just can't stay focused and awake. Another CAT scan was taken of his brain, and it showed several small infarctions, or areas deprived of oxygen, that were not there when he had the CAT scan on Wed. He will be having an MRI this evening to get a better look at the areas. One theory is that a small bit of the infection in his heart could have broken off and traveled to the brain and cut off the blood supply. There are so many possibilities that we need more information. The blood cultures still don't show the nature if the infection in his heart yet; sometimes it take 72 hours for the cultures to grow. I know that he is in the very best place he can be, getting the very best care from people who know him best and truly care for him. I'm more concerned about his heart than the brain, but it's just ONE MORE THING to have to overcome! How much more can this man take??????????????????

Just when we thought things were going well....

Jim saw Dr. Stiff in clinic on Wed. He said transplant wise, Jim is in great shape, but he needed to exercise more, the same old same old. Jim has been having very low blood pressure issues, so his reading of 107/71 was pretty good. Later that afternoon Jim has a sudden splitting headache and nausea. I took his blood pressure and was stunned to see it was 179/109! All of these symptoms combined with chest pressure that radiated to his back warranted a fast trip to the ER. I should have taken Jim to Loyola, but I took him to Edward Hospital because it's so much closer. He was well taken care of in the ER; EKG, CAT scans, blood work, etc. We were told his heart enzymes were elevated, an indication of possible muscle damage, and the EKG was different from the last one. The CAT scan of his chest showed what the ER attending thought was a blood clot in his lung. He was admitted to the Heart Hospital CCU. After much debate over whether his platelet count was too low for an angeogram, he was given two transfusions of platelets and had the procedure. It went well, and showed that there was no blood clot after all! We were just rejoicing when the cardiac doctor came in to explain that the echocardigram showed that Jim has a rather large infection in his heart, on the mitro valve. If he weren't a transplant patient, he would be having surgery to take out the infected tissue and possibly replace the valve, but once again, being a transplant patient with low platelets makes that impossible. His only choice right now is to try to fight the infection with antibiotics, but since the origin is unknown, which antibiotic to use is a guessing game. The cardiac doctor will be discussing the case with Dr. Stiff, and we'll see if Jim will be transfered to Loyola. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, that the correct medicine is found for Jim! Dr. Stiff has a reputation for pulling off the impossible.....

Jim was discharged from Loyola this afternoon. Medically, he's fine, but physically he's very weak. Dr. Stiff said he would do better at home. He will be on IV antibiotics for four more days, and a nurse will come out every day to check on him and take blood samples.

The results of the bone marrow biopsy show 100% donor cells! Stiff was a-grinnin' at that! A small glitch is there is a small "cone" of Jim's old O- cells (he's now A+, as was his donor) that is attacking and killing some of the A+ cells that the marrow is producing, so he will probably need transfusions until that "cone" is gone. It's an auto-immune thing that will correct itself in time. He will also be receiving platelets often until his marrow starts to replenish on it's own. The infection knocked all his blood counts down, but Dr. Stiff assures us that it should recover soon.

Now that the "magic" 100 days isolation is over, Jim will no longer have to go to Cancer Camp twice a week, but will see Stiff in clinic once a week. The restrictions are slowly being lifted; he had his first salad tonight in 100 days!

Now that the transplant seems to have worked, our focus is on getting Jim strong again. He has a long road ahead of him, but one that is doable. I'll just have to get out my whips again!

Jim is SLOWLY recovering! The C. diff (bowel infection) is gone, his blood pressure is stable, and his potassium level is coming up. He still has the cellulitis, but is is less painful and starting to recede. He is retaining about 20 pounds of water the lower half of his body, and the water in the tissues of his legs is a breeding ground for the cellulitis, so getting rid of the water with diuretics is the most important thing now. His blood counts have dropped with the infection, so he's had to receive blood and platelet transfusions. The fresh, healthy platelets are really helping heal all the skin gouges he got when he fell!

Unfortunately, I think he has lost all the strength we have fought so hard to recover! He's very weak, and it takes all the strength he has just to get out of bed and stand up! Dr. Stiff wants him to start walking ASAP! This is going to be the toughest battle yet! He is, however, in good spirits, and anxious to get home, so I think that will help. He's got an uphill road to climb before he comes home, so it looks like he'll be in the BMTU longer than we first thought.

Today is Day + 91, and we were told Jim would be discharged from Edward Hospital tomorrow! I also talked to Dr. Toor, who did the bone marrow aspiration last Friday. He said when he looked at the bone marrow under a microscope he could see NO CANCER CELLS! Of course, the marrow will undergo much more testing, but it's a positive sign! YAY!

We found out yesterday that the infection is E. coli, same as he had in September, only this time we caught it early on. His blood cultures have been negative for the last 48 hours, indicating that the antibiotics are working. The cultures taken from his central line have also come back negative, so he will get to leave it in. His blood pressure and temperature have been perfect as well, so he was moved out of ICU into a regular private room today. The infectious disease specialist said he could probably be released on Friday, and if the other two doctors on his case agree, Friday it will be!We now need to find out when Stiff wants him back in Cancer Camp, and whether this "vacation" will set him back; only 10 more days till the "magic 100"! Hope the isolation isn't extended, but it could very well be. We'll see!

Jim is responding very well to the antibiotics and has not had a fever for over 24 hours. Bacteria was found in his blood, and they are trying to pinpoint the origin. The inflammation on his hips is cellulitis, and it, too, is responding to the antibiotics and is a bit less painful. It looks like he will be there for at least two more days, and then home on IV antibiotics for another week or 10 days. Keep your fingers crossed that the cultures taken from his central line come back negative. If that is the source of the infection, the line will have to come out. He has had it in since July '03, and it has probably grown attached to his body and it will be harder than usual to remove. Then they will just have to put in another line, surgically, and Jim would rather not go through that. The oncologist who saw Jim this morning was none other than my sister Cindy's oncologist! He's a lovely man who actually remembered me from over four years ago when I took her to her appointments! He has worked with Dr. Stiff many times, so we feel really comfortable with him. He offered to have Jim transfered to Loyola now that he is stable, but since it won't be too much longer (we hope) he might as well stay where he is, as they would not do anything different at Loyola. Besides, it's really nice to be there in just 5 minutes as opposed to Loyola's 30 to 45 minute drive! Thanks so much for all your thoughts and encouragements! Fortunately we caught this early, and though it's serious, it's not critical, and he should come through it o.k. I think this will set him back, recovery-wise, and I had to tell Jim that Nurse Rachet would be coming back to whip him back into shape!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! We spent the first day of this shiny new year in the hospital!!!

Jim spiked a 102.2 fever at 12:30 this morning. I immediately checked the bone marrow aspiration site and it was fine, but the skin on his hips and outer thighs was inflamed. I was told to take him to the ER at Loyola, and since he was really shaky I asked neighbors to help (thanks again Rich and Lynn) me get him in the car, and he passed out in the garage. I called 911. When Jim came to, he wasn't really coherent for a while. He was taken to Edward Hospital in Naperville, the closest one. He was in the ER till 7 this morning, and now he is in ICU. His blood pressure was really low, so he's on IV meds for that, and it's fine now. He has an infection somewhere, and till the blood cultures come back, we won't know where. He is on two IV antibiotics, and they should take care of anything that comes up. When I left him this evening, he was feeling really well, with the exception of inflamed skin, which is really painful.

The Docs at Edward have been in touch with Loyola, and they are doing a fine job. Hopefully I will find out tomorrow how long he needs to be there. The infection is serious, but not critical. All of his other organs and systems are just fine. Hopefully, this will be just a small setback! Maybe if this year starts out like this, we'll have nowhere to go but up!!!!

Last weekend Jim started having low blood pressure problems again (when he stood up, his pressure would abruptly drop up to 40 or 50 points, causing him to be dizzy and fall), so Dr. Toor put him in a med to help, which it has. He wanted Jim monitored closely until the drug kicked in, so he sent out a home nurse to take a blood sample and check his pressure on Wed. morning. We were shocked when we got the blood results to find ALL of his blood counts took a significant drop! His counts have been so good and steady for weeks and weeks that it was really concerning. He received two units of blood and IV fluids.

Jim had his scheduled appointment in Cancer Camp today, and we were immensely relieved to see most of his counts going up again, with the exception of the platelets, which are low but not critical. Dr. Toor could see no reason for the drop, but Jim does have a scrape on his leg that looks like it might be infected, so he's on antibiotics to be safe. That could cause the counts to drop. Dr. Toor said that with Jim all the usual causes and effects don't apply as his body seems to have an agenda of it's own and the usual methods just don't work on him! He did tell me that he has a gut feeling that it was just a "glitch", and we trust his gut.

Jim had a bone marrow taken today to be biopsied. We should get the results next week. Jim only has two more weeks of twice a week visits to Cancer Camp. If all goes well, then he will see Dr. Stiff in the clinic just once a week! What will we do with the extra day? I'm sure I can think of something! We want to wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year. We're hoping that 06 will be the one (of course, we said that in 03, 04, and 05)......